Shatter Me
by Aiyoku Saotome
Summary: "Pity what has become of you. Find me when you are worthy." A series of events forces Peter Pan to grow up, but not into what you might think. After posing as a boy for centuries, he faces Hook in a final show down to the death - as a woman. "Are you ready to die?" "No flight. No hook. A fair fight, to the death. To die will be an awfully big adventure. I'm ready to die. Are you?"
1. Isolde

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my own ideas.

I developed this story idea from a photo shoot my friend and I did of female Peter Pan and female Captain Hook. The song Shatter Me is by Lindsey Stirling. Enjoy!

* * *

I pirouette in the dark

I see the stars through a mirror

Tired mechanical heart

Beats 'til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

Shatter me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

If only the clockwork could speak

I wouldn't be so alone

We'd burn every magnet and spring

And spiral into the unknown

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

Shatter me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

If I break the glass then I'll have to fly

There's no one to catch me if I take a dive

I'm scared of changing

The days stay the same

The world is spinning but only in gray

If I break the glass then I'll have to fly

There's no one to catch me if I take a dive

I'm scared of changing

The days stay the same

The world is spinning but only in gray

(Only...)

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

Me

Shatter me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

* * *

 _"I wish I lived in a different time. I wish I died instead of him. I wish I could be young forever."_

 _"Do you, child?"_

 _The startled girl looked up at a tiny glowing woman with wings hovering in front of her at her open window._

 _"Who are you?"_

 _"Your fairy."_

 _"I have a fairy?"_

 _"Everyone does, until they stop believing."_

 _"Then I will never stop." The fairy smiled. "I'm Isolde. What's your name?"_

 _"Tinkerbell."_

 _"How pretty. Like you."_

 _"Thank you. Isolde, are you sure you want to stay a girl forever?"_

 _"No. I want to be a boy forever."_

 _"A boy?"_

 _"Yes. Girls aren't treated well. We have to sit still and look pretty. We can't get dirty and we can't play. No one listens to girls but if boys say the same things we do, they are listened to. No one likes girls. I hate being a girl." Tinkerbell had to smile at the girl's petulant tone. "I had a twin brother named Peter. I should like to be called Peter. But my father beat me when I requested it."_

 _Tinkerbell's smile fell. "He beat you?"_

 _"Worse than usual."_

 _"This happens often?"_

 _"Yes. They don't like me. They don't want a girl. They wanted Peter. But Peter died two years ago, so they can't do with me what they wanted to do with him. They won't send me to school, I won't become a rich businessman. All I'm good for is marrying off to a rich man who will sit me at parties to show off as a trophy. I can't do what boys and men can do, they say. Though I say it isn't fair."_

 _"You're right, it isn't."_

 _"I don't want to live this life. I don't want to grow up."_

 _"You don't have to."_

 _"What? Dont' be silly, of course I do. Everyone has to grow up. It is biology."_

 _"Not in Neverland."_

 _"What is that?"_

 _"An island up in the sky. It is inside a star, and time stands still there. Mostly. You can grow up if you wish, or you can stay young if you wish. Its magic works with your desires and your soul. If you wish to be young forever, you will be, unless something triggers growth. Complicated emotions such as romantic love or sinister anger will force you to either grow or not grow. Depending on what your soul wishes, the magic will do the opposite. So stay away from situations and people who might cause you to feel such emotions, and you will be young forever."_

 _Isolde's eyes were wide. "A magic island? Where I can be a boy forever?"_

 _"No one would judge you for being a girl, there."_

 _"I don't care. I will be a boy. If I never grow up, no one will ever know except you."_

 _"Very well. I will take you there, Peter."_

 _Isolde smiled. "Peter Pan."_

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"Peter Pan. My brother and I used to love Greek mythology, and our favorite was the mischief maker, Pan. My name will be Peter Pan."_

 _Tinkerbell grinned. Life just got hundreds of times more fun. "I shall teach you to fly, then."_

 _"Fly? I can fly?"_

 _"I'll teach you to jump on the wind's back, and away we'll go. Peter, while you're sleeping in your silly bed, you could be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars."_

 _"How do you do it?!"_

 _The little fairy flew around the newly named Peter, showering him with sparkling dust that seemed to come from her. "You just think lovely, wonderful thoughts, and up you'll go."_

 _Peter frowned. "I don't have many happy thoughts."_

 _"How about living forever as a boy, learning to fight, learning to fly, being free?" Tinkerbell's eyebrows flew into her hairline at how fast Peter shot into the air. "That worked, I see!"_

 _"Let's go!"_

 _"ISOLDE!"_

 _Peter whirled around at the door banging open and her parents shouting his old name._

 _"Hold onto your happy thought, Peter," Tinkerbell said. "They can't understand me because I am not their fairy. Remember what I've told you."_

 _"Isolde," Peter's mother said calmly, though she was terrified, "what on Earth is going on?"_

 _"She's a witch, this is witchcraft!" Peter's father said._

 _Peter snorted. "Witchcraft, father? How boring. This is much more complex than withcraft, and far more than your feeble brain can understand."_

 _"Come down, Isolde. We will get you help," Peter's mother pleaded._

 _"Help? You mean lock me up in an asylum? No, I think not. You don't even want me. You just keep me around because you know you would be found out if you offed me and because you need to marry me off to save father's business. And my name is Peter, now. Peter Pan. Goodbye. Have fun telling the authorities what happened to me." Peter turned and promptly flew out the window._

* * *

Peter woke with a start. He had not dreamt about that particular moment in a very long time. He curled up into a ball and sighed. That used to be a happy memory. Now, all he felt was sadness. Wendy left him one week ago, and she took his boys with her. His wonderful, loyal boys had become enamored by their 'mother' turned sister and the wonders of her world. He didn't even want to visit to see if any of them wished to come back. He couldn't bear the pain of their rejection. Not that he could even fly well, anymore. Tink had taken to wandering the island, giving him time to himself to heal. So when he heard a noise in the tree above his house, he paid it no mind. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear quiet shuffling above him, so he wasn't able to avoid the searing pain that erupted in his arm.

He shouted and shot out of his bed, clutching his bleeding shoulder. His eyes widened in terror and shock when he noticed Captain Hook in the cavern of roots above his bed, his hooked arm dangling between them. "You're ALIVE?!"

"Quite, and as angry as ever! Come out and have a fair fight, Pan!"

"We had a fair fight!"

"No kisses, no girls!"

"What about purposely bringing me down with unhappy thoughts?!"

"No flying."

"Then you can only use one weapon, for flying is my second. Hook or sword, you choose. It's either that, or I fly."

Hook thought for a moment. "Alright. Sword, then." He disappeared, and Peter used his tunnel to reach the surface.

"How did you escape?" Peter asked dangerously.

"That is actually something I must thank you for. If you had not cut off my hand, I would not have placed a hook on my arm and I would not have gotten out of that croc's belly. She is dead now, and will no longer be a plague upon my well being."

"Then, let's dance."

"Have at thee."

Peter fought with everything he had, but it just wasn't the same. He did not have the strength or heart that he did one week ago, and it showed. Hook had him on his knees, doing everything he could to keep Hook's sword at bay. But his arms were trembling.

"This is not a fair fight," Hook suddenly said, and abruptly took his sword back, causing Peter to fall and plant his hands on the ground. "Come find me when you are worthy."

"How do you do it?"

"What?"

"How are you strong while being so filled with hatred and malice? Aren't you miserable?"

Hook was surprised at the pain filled look on Peter's face when the boy looked up at him. "You can turn anything into strength, Pan. Happiness, sadness, jealousy, anger, love. It is up to the wielder to wield it."

"Love makes you WEAK. It only brings pain and misery. That is how I almost died."

Hook almost felt badly for him. "You are pathetic. You almost died because you forbade yourself to feel grown up emotion and you allowed another's love to be your downfall. You will never know the beauty of love. You will never know the warmth of a body sleeping next to you. You will never know the way a heart beats when its person sees their partner. You will never know the joys adulthood brings, all because you are too stubborn and proud. Because you are just a boy, unwilling to change simply because you are afraid. There is so much more to love in life when you grow up. Pity, what has become of you, my once worthy opponent." Hook turned and left.

With a great scream, Peter launched himself from the ground and charged at Hook, who blocked just in time. "I WILL NEVER BOW DOWN TO YOU! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! NOT UNTIL I DIE!"

After a series of parries, thrusts, and blocks, Hook had Peter on his back, his sword point on Peter's skin above his heart. Peter let his head and arms fall, now dead weight. "I admire your resilience, but giving up is all you can do now. I will not kill an unworthy opponent in an unfair fight. Goodbye, Pan."

Without understanding why, tears ran down Peter's cheeks as the captain faded from view. He felt as though yet another thing was ripped from his life. Hook had been a staple in his routine ever since the pirate and his ship came through the Bermuda Triangle hundreds of years ago. Now, he was gone. Just like Wendy and the boys. He didn't even deem Peter worthy enough to kill. What was he, then? No better than the dirt beneath him?

Tinkerbell found him like this hours later, and brought him inside. Even though Hook still knew where she and Peter lived, he would not be coming back. This was the end of Hook and Pan.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	2. Ready to Die

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my ideas.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

As the weeks flew by, Tinkerbell noticed a change in Peter. As soon as she realized he was aging, she battled with herself over telling him. She was afraid of what was happening to him, but at the same time, terrified of what the knowledge might do to him. That it might make him worse. However, as the boy grew, so did his curves. She had to tell him.

"Peter?" she called after returning from the native camp with larger clothes. "Peter where are you?"

"Here, Tink." Her heart gave a squeeze at his melancholy voice, but followed it. She found him in the room he made for himself after Hook's final attack. "I have to talk to you - Peter, why are you wearing a shirt? I thought it was too hot." She said, referencing what he complained about when they first came to the island.

"I'm growing."

Her heart stopped for a moment. "You know?"

"Of course I know. How can I not know? I'm in constant pain and my body is growing up and out."

"Your chest, you mean?" He had no words for that. "Peter, have you - have you started bleeding?"

"What?"

She sighed. "You're growing incredibly fast. You're going to start... bleeding soon."

"Oh, that."

"You know about it?"

"My mother so kindly explained it all to me rather harshly a little before you took me away because she didn't want to deal with it. Or clean it up. I haven't gotten it but I know it's coming."

"Why are you growing?" Peter shrugged. "Have you figured it out yet? Or do you really not know?"

"I know," he mumbled.

"Will you tell me?"

His head drooped and his lengthening curls fell over his eyes. "I really don't want to. But it's not fair to you. I'll have to someday, anyway... It's Hook."

"Hook?"

"This is all Hook's fault. I guess Wendy started it by telling me about adult feelings even though I tried to stop her, and she showed me contact I've never known by kissing me... But what Hook said to me in our last fight... he's right. And I hate him for it."

Tinkerbell knew what he meant because he told her when she found him later that day. "Do you want those things he said you'll never experience?"

"I didn't because I didn't know about them. But now I do and - I don't know! Okay? I don't know."

"You were so upset when he left. Why do you think that is?"

"Because I'll never fight him again."

"He told you to come back when you were worthy."

"And I never will be, so that's that. It's over, Tink. Leave it alone."

"I'm trying to get to the root of the problem, here."

"Leave it alone."

"No. I'm tired of your moody behavior. We are going to fix this and get through it. Enough. I've had enough." Peter had the decency to look ashamed. "Why do you hate Hook so much? You've never hated him like this, before."

"Because of what he said, I told you."

"So you want what he said you'll never have."

"I dunno."

"Who with? Wendy?"

"No! It's not a who, it's just - that I may want them! Okay? I finally know what I'm missing and I have no one! Wendy left but I didn't want it with her! My boys left! Even Hook left! You're the only one who has never left me. And even though they all left, Hook is the one who took everything from me. He took my spirit, my youth, my body, my heart, my will, everything!"

"Oh, Peter..."

"What?!"

"You have feelings for him..."

Peter's face contorted in rage as he violently stood up. "I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM!"

But they both knew Tink was right. "I'm sorry, Peter. I don't want to push you."

Peter took a few deep breaths and sat back down. "You don't have to be delicate with me, Tink. I can't hide behind a boy's body now that I'm growing. I have to face it."

"That doesn't mean you have to like it. I know you're proud. You may not be able to hide behind a boy's body anymore, but don't hide behind a wall either. Having and showing your feelings does not make you weak."

That night, Peter cried like Tinkerbell had never seen him cry before.

Weeks turned into months and before they knew it, Peter had grown inches taller. He now looked like a young woman, but still insisted on being male. He bound his chest and wore a loose shirt to hide his curves but gave up on cutting his hair, which now hung in a low ponytail down his back. Tink had to keep going back to the natives to get him bigger clothes, but only the chief knew what was going on. Peter's first monthly was a nightmare that thankfully did not repeat. However, his mood swings were horrendous for at least six months. Tink wasn't sure if she'd end up ripping her wings off, but she kept reminding herself that she needed her wings to escape his teenage rage. Also, he was growing much faster than normal humans from a combination of Neverland's magic, his emotions, his newfound anger towards Hook, and that he had been a child for so long. It would end soon though, and he would level out. She prayed for that day.

Weeks later, Peter slid into the home under the ground. "We have to move."

The fairy looked up, startled. "Move?"

"I'm getting too big for my entrance, which is the biggest entrance in here. We have to find somewhere else to live." He walked off to his room and started throwing things onto his bed.

Tinkerbell slowly flew in, trying to assess what kind of a mood Peter was in. "Where do you suggest we go?"

"I've been searching. There's a cave on the other side of the island. It's big, it's hidden, and it'll be a fresh start."

"Are you okay with this?"

"There is too much Wendy in this old tree house."

She knew that he blamed Wendy just as much as Hook for the changes in his life, but he channelled all of that hatred towards his enemy because he was easier to blame and he was there. Peter would most likely never get closure from Wendy, and even though Peter told Tinkerbell that she didn't have to be delicate with him, she did. And she would. So she did not mention Wendy again. "Alright, let's get our things together and then you can lead the way."

The cave was truly incredible, and Tinkerbell fell in love with it immediately. The duo arranged their new home and were comfortable in it within the week. Peter formed a training ring in the center and threw himself into different styles of fighting with his vast collection of weapons, and furthered his physical abilities. He told Tinkerbell to view her as a woman, as she now had full curves and could no longer hide who she had become. But she still insisted on being called Peter; she held onto that name like a lifeline. So Tinkerbell began using female words when addressing her, though it was difficult at first because Peter had been a boy for centuries. "Don't worry if you slip. I won't mind," Peter told her.

Before they knew it, many months had passed and Peter resembled a woman in her early twenties. Tink thanked the gods when Peter grew out of puberty; dealing with an angsty teenager in constant pain was NOT fun in the slightest. What was also not much fun was that Peter's fury at Hook only grew stronger. She trained harder and lasted longer in her ring sessions. Tink even brought some of the native tribe's best warriors to train with her after they were sworn to secrecy about what and who Peter had become - they were eager to help when they found out that Peter was training for the battle to end all with Hook.

And then it happened, far too soon for Tinkerbell.

"I'm ready."

The fairy turned and saw Peter standing in front of a mirror stolen from Hook's ship long ago, before Wendy's time. Her unruly waist-length curls were pulled back while a few stragglers tumbled down next to her face. Her favorite sword was sheathed on her belt. She had donned her usual leaf-covered pants and made a top of the same material that she tested in the ring until it proved its strength and support. Her eyes held anger and a maturity Tink had only seen recently. Finally, her muscles alone proved how strong she had become. Growing into a woman revealed new challenges Peter had not expected - strength being one of them - so she worked hard to develop visible muscles to ensure that she was not underestimated. This was to be a fair fight, after all.

"You are, indeed."

Peter turned and handed her a folded letter. "Would you give this to Hook?"

"Yes. Is today the day?"

"It is. I will be waiting at the noted spot." She walked towards the tunnel that led outside, but turned before she moved the boar skin hanging aside. "No matter what happens today, thank you for everything. You are the best friend and mentor anyone could ever hope for." And then, she was gone.

Tinkerbell sighed deeply and flew off to deliver Peter's message.

* * *

To say that James Hook was startled when Pan's fairy flew into his cabin was a severe understatement.

"You're alive?"

She jingled angrily, but he understood fairy language even though she wasn't his fairy. "Of course I'm alive, you idiot!"

"Well, it has been over a year since I walked away from Pan. I was not expecting to see you or him ever again. The weather was atrocious the first few months, but then it settled. I figured you both might have died," he drawled.

"You knew we didn't die. The life of the island depends on Peter's life."

Hook narrowed his eyes. "Do not take me for a fool, Miss Bell. I know how the magic of this island works, and the ancient fairy magic you imbued in that boy. Once he is dead, the weather will no longer revolve around his moods and another child will be chosen. What did you come here for?" She handed him the letter. "From him?" She nodded and departed, not able to stand one more second in that pirate's presence.

 _I am ready. Meet me at Skull Rock._

 _Pan_

For the first time in over a year, Hook felt excitement. His blood rushed through his body as he stood to get ready for the battle of battles, the fight to end it all. Fair and to the death. As he caressed his favorite hook, which was already screwed onto his harness, he reflected back on the past year.

His hatred for Pan was strong ever since the boy cut off his hand and fed it to the crocodile, but after he was swallowed whole by the beast... hatred was not the word to describe what the feeling had morphed into. There was no word for it.

 _Old, alone, done for._

 _The crocodile snapped its jaws shut and he was pulled into inky blackness. He felt the beast's throat muscles pulling him down into its gut. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think - at least not about anything but the pain from his body being crushed and sucked down. He felt himself fall into a pit of liquid and knew he was in the croc's stomach. With one final burst of will, he raised his arm and brought his hook down on the stomach wall repeatedly. She shuddered, so he continued. She had tough skin but if he could find his way out, he would be free. Suddenly, water burst through one of the gashes he made. He hacked his way through and swam to the surface, knowing she would not live. He chanced a look down, and through blurry eyes, saw her body sinking. The mermaids would be upon him soon, so he swam with every ounce of strength he had left. When he made it to shore, the pirates that had jumped ship earlier ran to help him. They recovered their ship when Pan returned it, though they waited for the boy to fly off so he wouldn't know that their captain survived._

That was difficult to recover from. He was jumpy at the slightest movement of the ship for many weeks after, even though he knew she was dead. Even after he knew Pan would not bother him anymore. So he thought. He remembered feeling strange about how their last fight ended. He almost felt sorry for the boy; Pan was a mess. He was depressed and lost his will. Hook told him to find him when he was worthy, something he didn't think was possible. Not after the look Pan had given him right before he walked away. The boy was broken.

But apparently he was ready, now. So Hook donned his best red coat and hat and left the ship, telling Smee where he was going. "Inform the crew. I will be back by nightfall."

"Good luck, Cap'n."

James Hook had been waiting for this fight for centuries. The battle to end his suffering. The death of that insolent youth. The death of that horrible boy who had caused him so much pain and anguish. He looked forward to running him through with his sword and reveling in the look of pain on that brat's face as he lay dying. Hook wouldn't use his appendage, for that had been part of the rules of their last duel, but he would enjoy killing that little horror nonetheless. He grinned as he made his way through the Neverland jungle.

He spotted Pan and unsheathed his sword. Instinct and years of fighting the boy made it so he did not immediately notice Pan's hips, waist, long hair, and how tall he was. "Pan. Are you ready to die?" Peter turned and the pirate's eyes shot from a glare to shock as his eyes finally adjusted to body in front of him. "Apologies, I mistook you for a boy. But... why are you dressed like said boy?" He knew this person was Peter Pan, but his mind would not allow him to believe it.

"I am said boy."

"You are a woman dressed like Peter Pan. How can you be Peter Pan?"

"You."

Hook blinked. "Me?"

"You forced me to grow up, and now you will die." She unsheathed her sword. "No flight. No hook. A fair fight, to the death. I've been training for this every day since just weeks after you left. To die will be an awfully big adventure. I'm ready to die. Are you?"

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	3. The Fight To End All Fights

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my ideas!

So sorry for the wait! Here is the latest, the fight to end all fights!

* * *

"You forced me to grow up, and now you will die." She unsheathed her sword. "No flight. No hook. A fair fight, to the death. I've been training for this every day since just weeks after you left. To die will be an awfully big adventure. I'm ready to die. Are _you_?"

"I _forced_ you?" he asked incredulously. "You are a woman. You dress like him, you speak like him, you even resemble him, but you are a woman. How can I possibly be fighting _the_ Pan? Pan is a boy. If he grew up, he would be a man."

The woman in front of him gritted her teeth and pointed her sword at him. He swore he heard a low growl. "Do not underestimate me because I am a woman!"

"It is not because of what you are, it is because of who you claim to be."

"You don't have to believe it but DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME, HOOK! You asked for a fair fight, a fight to end all fights. Well here it is! PREPARE TO DIE!"

There was an explosion of fury, hatred, and metal as the two began. At once, Hook knew that this really was Peter Pan, but he was still under the spell of surprise and disbelief. He was a skilled fighter though, and under any circumstance, could hold his own and win. The more they fought, the more his shock lessened. He noticed the scars on the woman's body and recognized them as his own work. He recognized her fighting style. He knew that look in those angry green eyes, but he still could not comprehend that this was that same boy. He fought with everything he could while his mind was occupied with confusion, but both fighters obtained wounds. He sliced open the woman's thigh, she put a gash on his chest. He scratched her forehead, her sword caught his cheek. And it went on until both were bleeding and tired. With one final spurt of energy, she screamed in rage and it was all over in a few swings; Hook was on his back, and her sword point was on his chest above his heart.

"This feels familiar," she growled.

He was floored, quite literally, but he could finally see his enemy in this woman. He could finally see past her body into the boy he fought mercilessly for centuries. And he lost. "Well done, Pan. That was fair. Finish me."

Her eyes widened. "You believe me?"

"There is only one person in the world who could possibly defeat me. I know your scars, I know your eyes. I know it's you. So, go ahead. You won. Finish me. Fair is fair."

She knelt with one knee on his abdomen and one hand holding down the arm with his hook. She gritted her teeth and raised her sword arm. Her heart was pumping her blood through her body so fast that it was rushing like a river in her ears. But she could not do it. She punctured his skin and his breath hitched in his throat. She pushed the sword further and he grunted. But she could not kill him.

"What's the matter, Pan? Do it!"

"I..." She couldn't even speak. She stood violently and ran. She ran as fast as she could, for she could not fly. Hot furious tears pricked her eyes and raced down her cheeks, burning her skin. She found herself at her cave, and then inside. She dropped to her knees and sobbed. She screamed. She hit the ground with her fists. Thankfully Tinkerbell was nowhere to be found. "WHY?!" Her chest heaved as she tried to steady her breathing. She let out a gutteral cry and felt herself breaking all over again.

"Why didn't you kill me?!"

She gasped and shot up off the ground. Her heart still pounding, she faced Hook. "You followed me!"

"Why didn't you kill me?" he repeated. He was seething. "That was a fair fight. To the death was our agreement!"

"It was not a fair fight. You underestimated me and you were shocked and confused and you weren't at your best."

"It most definitely was fair. As a fighter, one always has to be prepared. I was caught off guard but I let it happen. That does not mean it wasn't fair. Why didn't you kill me?"

"I... couldn't."

"Why?" he asked gruffly.

"I don't know!"

"Yes, yes you do know."

"No! I -"

"Pan, we will continue this cycle until one of us is dead! You had the CHANCE! The Pan I knew would never have given up that chance! What happened to my fierce enemy, Peter Pan?!"

"PETER PAN IS DEAD!" she shouted. "You killed him! You did it. You won. You took everything from me. My spirit, my heart, my body, my identity."

"You are pathetic."

She glanced at him. "I am, aren't I?" She turned her back to him and sat on a chair. "You know where I live. Kill me or don't, but I won't be bothering you anymore." He stalked over to her and sliced her arm with his sword. She jumped up with a shout and grabbed her arm, glancing at the blood on her hand. "What was that for?!"

He dropped his sword to grab her neck and squeeze, but not enough to choke her. Just enough to let her know the extent of his anger, and that he meant business. "Only _you_ can take that away from yourself. Only _you_ can choose how to react or what to do with someone else's actions or words. It doesn't matter what you look like, it is your heart that makes you who you are. Now that boy is in there somewhere, and I. Will. Have. My. Fight." He took his hand away and picked up his sword, drawing it on her.

"You would fight me again, knowing that Pan is a woman? That _I_ am a woman?"

"It doesn't matter what you are, you are still my enemy. You still cut off my hand and fed it to a crocodile. You still tormented me for hundreds of years. So woman or not, I will see you dead. Since we clearly can't have a fair fight without our greatest attributes, I suggest an all out war. Flight, hook, swords, fists - everything."

She grinned wildly, all traces of depression and hopelessness gone. She grabbed her sword and flew into the center of her training ring. She landed with her arms outstretched, a, excited look in her eyes. "Let's go."

"You are one strange boy."

Her grin grew into an open-mouthed beam at his use of the word boy. "You don't know the half of it, Hooky."

He poised for battle. "Let's dance."

It was an all out brawl. They met with Peter in the air, striking. Hook was blocking. His hook came down on Peter's arm but she moved it. He missed. She flew backwards and landed on her feet, Hook on the offense. Stabbing, slicing, parrying, blocking, flying, and striking - everything. They didn't even make use of the weapons on Peter's wall; they relied on their own. Pan didn't stay in the air for long periods. Instead, she used it as defense, jumping and twirling away from Hook's grasp. He used his hook to block her strikes, and to lunge at her.

Hook was the first to draw blood in this second fight. While blocking her sword with his hook, his sword swiped her stomach. She shouted and flew backwards. She drew second blood a few minutes later, now furious that he bested her. They were both already torn and bleeding, so it was hard to see which wounds were from the second fight as they ripped open each other's flesh.

They were both getting tired, their muscles beginning to fail. She blocked his sword for the final time; she was not fast enough to move out of range of his hook. He pierced her shoulder. She cried out and moved, but it was stuck in her arm. If she yanked her arm away, it would tear. She was trapped. They moved around each other, swords locked, until Hook lifted his leg at the same time as he pulled his hook out of her arm. He kicked her abdomen and she fell backwards, winded. Gasping for breath, she crab crawled away from him as he came at her. She rolled out of the way of his sword and with a might swing, she cut his thigh open. He shouted in agony and moved away from her. As her chest heaved, unable to breathe, she stood and held onto the wall. He lunged, and she could do nothing. Her flimsy attempt at one last block couldn't even be called a block. It was knocked away.

Hook dropped his sword. He pinned her against the cave wall with his hooked arm, the iron point against her throat and his dagger piercing her skin below her ribs. She grunted. "How indecent, Codfish," she ground out between gasps. She was regaining her ablity to breathe as her diaphragm recovered from his kick, but every breath she took drove the dagger deeper.

Hook glanced down and noticed what exactly his arm was pushing against. "A fight is no time for decency. I would pin you this way if you were still a boy, so I will do it even though you are a woman." Pan smiled. "Why does that make you happy? What is it about you and being female that has your pride all up in arms and why is it so important that I treat you equal to how I treated you as a boy?"

She just kept smiling through her pain. "It doesn't matter, does it? You won. I am going to die."

"Why couldn't you kill me? Why can't you say it? If it was just anger and hatred that forced you to grow up, you wouldn't have a problem saying so." Peter looked up at him and just smiled sadly, unable to say anything. But Hook noticed something. "Good lord... Wendy and I were both wrong..."

"What?"

"You do feel, but it isn't for her... it's... for me." Hook's eyes were as wide as dinner plates at his realization, and the fear that appeared in Peter's eyes only proved to him that he was right.

"I do not feel for you!" She cringed at the pain her shouting caused her.

"I know you. I have seen every emotion that has come through those eyes. Why can't you admit it?"

Peter hesitated. "If you know me so well, then you know that I could never admit that." Understanding washed over Hook's face. She groaned in pain and her legs buckled. "You know… this really hurts... could you, get on with it?"

The pirate needed to hear it. He wasn't even sure if it was to humiliate Pan or not, but he needed to hear the brat say it. "You're going to die, anyway. I deserve to know the truth after everything you've done to me. If you tell me, maybe I will end your suffering swiftly." He ripped the dagger out of her and she fell to her knees clutching the wound on her abdomen, no longer able to support her weight. Her legs moved out from under her and she leaned against the wall. He dropped the dagger, picked up his sword, and lifted her chin with it. "Why?" was all he asked.

She hesitated, took a breath, and spoke. "I grew up in the sixteen hundreds." Hook furrowed his eyebrows, wondering where this was going. "Women and girls weren't respected. We weren't allowed to have fun. We weren't taught to read or write unless our families were rich and wanted to marry us off to royalty. We weren't allowed to laugh – we were only meant to be used as business tools to seal deals between families, and to show off as trophies." She pushed Hook's sword away from her chin so she could rest her neck, and he let her. She was too tired and injured to attack anyway, and he had already won. "The only male figure in my life who respected and loved me was my twin brother, Peter." This was all starting to make sense to Hook. "He made me laugh in private, told me stories, comforted me after our father beat me, and he said that once we were grown, he would always protect me, even if I never married."

She looked down at her lap. "He died when we were ten. My parents hated me more than ever. They wished I had died instead of him." Even Hook thought that was barbaric. "I offered to pose as him, but my father beat me severely for it. I stopped speaking to my parents altogether unless they required an answer from me." She took deep breaths to try and lessen her pain. She noted that Hook was having trouble standing, but kept that information to herself. "Almost three years later, I wanted to die. At nearly thirteen, on the brink of adulthood, I couldn't bear living in that world anymore. So I made a desperate wish – and Tinkerbell appeared. She took me here. I didn't have to grow up, I didn't have to be a girl who was hated by everyone, I wasn't judged, I didn't have to marry someone who would rape me whenever he wanted – I was free. I didn't think I could be happier, but then you showed up about fifty years later, and I learned what true fun was." Her smile faded. "Then I cut off your hand... and changed everything."

"Why do you frown at this?"

"I didn't mean to do it." For about the tenth time that day, his eyes widened in shock. "I know it's probably no consolation, but it was an accident and I'm sorry. Truly sorry. I've felt horrible since, for causing you so much pain and misery, even though I've never shown it. If I could go back in time and prevent it, I would."

He was now so beyond shocked that he didn't know how to respond. She still wasn't looking at him, so he allowed his mask to slip and his emotions to come through. She didn't know, but just like cutting off his hand, her apology changed everything. He had already decided not to kill her even though he threatened to, but this sealed the deal, and changed how he viewed her. His anger dissipated immediately, and her back story actually made him pity her a bit. Though he had to admit, her obvious guilt pleased him.

"So," he began, "how does Wendy tie into all of this?"

She took a few breaths through her pain. Her blood has seeped through her fingers and was running down her abdomen. "Even though I felt guilty, I was able to push past that because of how you and I fell into step as enemies. It was easy to forget my feelings if I pushed them away like I did with everything else. But then Wendy came along, bringing feelings into the mix. Bringing them… back."

"Back?"

"I was a girl who grew up in a wealthy family. I knew what feelings were and I knew all about what came with marriage. I was practically grown in that world; they were waiting for my thirteenth birthday to pounce, but my mother explained everything to me. I wanted love, not to be forced into a loveless marriage, forced to please some stranger I've never met whenever he wished. I squashed my hopes for any kind of romance long ago, and stupid Wendy brought it all back with her stupid talk of feelings, and kissing me like that… making me realize what I had been missing. I played it off like I didn't know what a kiss was, but she somehow snuck one in anyway."

Amused, Hook smirked. "So you're blaming Wendy, now? It's not entirely my fault, anymore?"

"It never was. You're just easy to blame. You're here."

His smirk fell. His guilt came flooding back. "So you started feeling adult emotions and you enjoyed that kiss, but you didn't want that with her."

She glanced up at him, furious at the way her heart was fluttering. "… No."

He wiped blood off his face from a cut on his cheek. "How was I able to bring you down then, if it wasn't Wendy you had feelings for?"

"I may not have wanted her romantically, but I was confused. She made me feel all these feelings, and she was leaving me and taking my boys with her... and everything you said to bring me down only reminded me more of what I was missing in life." She took a few deep breaths and pressed her hand harder against her abdomen wound to try and staunch blood flow. She was going to die anyway, but it was an instinctual reaction. "Before that fight, she offered to take me with her, said her parents would adopt me. I said I wanted to always be a boy and have fun. She said she thought it was my biggest pretend." Peter closed her eyes at the memory. "She was right, and I knew it. And you made it real with what you said; she'd get to go home and experience everything I wanted, while I was stuck here living as a boy with confusing feelings that I hid away hundreds of years ago."

"So she made you realize you wanted those things... with me?" Peter remained silent, glaring at Hook with a humiliated look on her face. "Right, you will never admit it. I won't force it; I have my answer." He stepped back and sat on a chair. "This is a lot to take in."

"You're tellin' me." She glanced at him again. "So, are you gonna put me out of my misery?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Pan."

Fury lit up her face like a blazing fire. "You decided that before you made me talk! Didn't you?!"

He smirked at her. "You know me too well."

"You _bastard_. You made me spill my guts out with no intention of killing me! You _liar_!"

Hook splayed his arms out wide. "So come at me."

She tried to stand, but kept grunting and shouting out in pain. She hit the ground with her fist. "DAMNIT!" Hook's shoulders slumped; now he felt guilty again. Humiliation was the worst feeling to feel, and he made her feel it long enough. He gingerly stood and hobbled over to her, holding out his hand. She looked at it and at him as if he had grown another head. "Are you crazy?!"

"Our feud is over, Pan. You won once, I won once. I call it a nice, bloody, even draw. I got my fight of fights even though neither of us is dead, so I'm sated. Not to mention the situation is not at all what I expected. Now we need medical attention."

"I can take care of myself, thank you," she snapped.

"Your wounds are too great, as are mine. So unless you would like to tend to mine on your own in this cave," she reeled back in horror at this, "I suggest we help each other back to my ship to a real doctor. Besides, wouldn't you like my crew to know that you roughed me up as much as I you?"

"Damn you. You know too well how to get me to cooperate."

"Who knows you better than I?"

"That's not a good thing."

He snorted. "Let's get to it, then." She tried to get up without his help again, but sighed when she realized it was impossible. She finally took his hand and he pulled her up, but not without a groan of pain of his own. She smiled at this. "It's nice to know that my pain makes you happy, brat."

"Aw you knew that already, Hooky."

"Cease with that infernal name at once."

"If I'm going to have to deal with the humiliation of needing your help, I will call you whatever I damn well please." Hook grumbled something about obnoxious youths as he sheathed his sword, and she managed a smirk. "Youth? Yeah, I guess I am still a youth in my twenties compared to you. What are you, forty-something?"

He snarled. "Thirty-five, you brat."

She laughed. "You're nearly only ten years older than I, now. I can hardly call you an old man, anymore." He grumbled again as she picked up her sword with great difficulty. She sheathed it beside her and didn't bother to wipe away the fresh blood that fell from her wound; she was covered in it, anyway. When she looked up, he was holding out his arm again. She gave him an incredulous look and limped past him towards the cave entrance; she was determined to get as far as she could alone.

"Don't you remember that I said we both need help getting back?"

"I'm going as far as possible before I have to touch you."

He held in his quip about how that didn't make sense as she had feelings for him, shook his head, and hobbled after. She didn't make it far, though; neither of them did. They were both severely wounded, and they knew they needed each other to get to the ship. Rather than asking for help, they shared a glance and fell into step. His left arm around her shoulders, her right arm around his waist, both trying not to think about the fact that they were touching.

They walked to the ship in silence with the exception of pained groans. About three quarters of the way there, twenty or so minutes into the walk, she couldn't hold Hook's weight any longer. Her arm dropped from his waist and she fell to her knees. With a deep breath, she felt her strength escaping her; the pirate had wounded her more than she wounded him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "Just like you to not be vocal about how badly hurt you are. Come on." They walked a little longer before her knees buckled again. Hook sighed. "You're not going to like this, and neither am I, but you're going to have to deal with it." He moved to pick her up but she batted his arms away.

"Don't you dare."

"We have a while to go still, you insolent brat. Forget your pride. I'm carrying you."

"Never. You're too hurt to carry your own weight evenly. You can't carry me. I'll be fine. Just give me a minute."

So he did. When she was ready, he pulled her up by her arm again and supported most of her weight on their way back. She could barely walk by the time they boarded the dinghy and pushed off the beach. He rowed as fast as he could, losing more blood in the process. The pirates pulled the dinghy up to the deck and helped them onto the ship.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


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